When The Storm Passes

It took 13 days, 13 days from Nov. 12 – Nov. 25, to get through the gutwrentching, battle of the first Chemo Infusion.

 

On Sun.,  Nov 25, I woke up with energy and enthusiam.  I knew that with the way I was feeling at that moment, I would get up and get myself ready to go to church.  I felt stronger, but not 100%.  I still had a few internal pains when using the bathroom, on either end, but everything else was feeling nearly normal.  I Praise God for feeling as good as I am.  I still have not gotten the taste completely back, everything on the sides of my tongue I have an idea of what I am eating, but the back and top of my tongue has that oxycotin chewed in your mouth taste.  Never chew perscription meds or let them sit on your tongue or you will know what all my meals and drinks taste like.

Monday was another day I woke up and unless I ate something, I feel nearly normal, and diarrhea is only reserved for night hours, unless I eat, then it’s fair game on when that could happen.  I think I am coming through, Lord.

Tuesday, I feel really strong, but for some reason, I feel tired. When I woke up, I felt so good, I almost thought I was not alive, not one bit of the pain, and suffering, I really felt good.  In the afternoon, I am laying down, and my head itched at the nape of my neck, when I moved my hand, I felt my hair move, and as I reached up, it had detached from my head, and in its place,  a smooth, hairless line, and the hair was just sitting there against my braid.  It has started!!!  I am not ready!!  I have been planning for this, but I thought it was coming after the second chemo infusion.  No, No, No, I cried out, and the tears were already consuming me.  I have to take my hair down to see if what I think is happening is real.

I know that yesterday, I pulled a hair above my ear, and it came out, but that was the only piece.  Now as I unbraid my hair, I rub my fingers through, and it is shedding in large amounts.  The more I rub, the more it sheds.  It is time.  I promised myself I would not do this gradually.  Once the hair starts to fall out, I have to let it all go.  I make my plan to go walk to the new barbershop over at the little mall, and I cried myself through the cutting.  It is done.  My hair is gone.  I could have allowed it to slowly go out, but that death was like the chemo, slow and painful.

I went to choir rehearsal and got through most of it before diarrhea attacked me.  We were between songs that I needed to be present.  I knew my stomach was hurting most of the evening and the intensity of pain increased as the night progressed, until it exploded.  After that incident, though I felt weaker than before, I was no longer in pain, and the rest of the night was uneventful.

Wed. I felt good, stronger, healthier.  Tastes are stronger, and food has some flavor.  I am enjoying this sense of feeling normal.  Thank you Lord, that all the bad feelings are temporary.  I even made it to Bible Study, and though I am cautious about hugging and being too close to people, because of the immune system deficiency, I hope those who know and care, understand, but if not, I know I have to be careful because next Monday, we start over again.  I have a business opportunity that God sent me, through LinkedIn, and with a small investment, I see this as a link to being the advocate to cancer patients and others that I prayed for.  I have to get through some stumblingblocks, and I know God will lead me through when He is ready.  Bless it Lord and Bless me through the next treatment.  It took two whole weeks fighting through the side effects and pain in the first infusion, help me Lord through this next infusion.  Bless me to be strong enough to be present on Tues for Dress Rehearsal for the upcoming concert, and to be able to participate in the concert on Sat and Sun evening, Please.  In Jesus’ Powerful, Merciful, Name. Amen.

Thursday, I noticed my nail beds are turning black, and I didn’t think about that when looking for side effects.  Now I notice all the hairs all over my face and body are shedding as I shower.  This does not bother me, as I still have my eyebrows and lashes right now.

Friday, the pains in my lower regions have ceased, and the nose bleeds have decreased to occasional clots, and this I can deal with compared to what was going on.

Saturday, I have now gotten almost all my tastebuds back, and food is good enough to eat now, and the diarrhea is not active after every meal.  Only one day before the next treatment, and then we will see how chemo treatment is with the second infusion, and then there will be four more for my body to try to overcome of quadruple threat PCHT therapy in this first phase.

 

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