First Day of Chemo Infusion Class

I want to thank my inspirational, faithful friend and choir member, Denny for volunteering to get me to my first infusion, today.  He is such an awesome minister of God.  One great and wonderful thing about Denny, is because of his prior military life, he is Always on time(that means early to the normal non military)  that is something we have in common.  Praise God for his patience too, because I was told I would be there for 1.5 hours, but that was just the time for one of the 4 treatments and the additional two preps that I had to be given.  Treatments go slowly on the first day with wait times in between to check for adverse reactions.  The two preps are steroids and Benadryl.

 We arrived at 7:30am, and treatment started at 9:00am.  The IV was inserted into the port(painful and the port is new since Friday), and blood was drawn to check counts, vitals, white count levels for liver and kidney.  Then we wait for results for 45 minutes.  Thankfully everything will always be done through the port, so pain levels and shock of injections are over.  Once the results are in, the port line was cleansed and the prep meds , anti nausea, steroids for pain relief, so far feeling great, upbeat, blessed.  Took a nap, which was refreshing, as the night before was quite unrestful, not because of anxiousness, guess it was really just that excitement of first day unknowing.

The room is like an ER/salon type with reclining chairs, and a privacy curtain for each station.  Chairs are lined all around the wall of this very large room with a nursing glass enclosure in the center of the entrance, a very convenient restroom which was totally my friend as all those liquids were working my exercise genes.  Everything went well, no side effects throughout the procedures.  There were snacks and drinks aplenty.  God is good and this process was so much less apprehensive  than I could ever imagine.  You get told so many things prior to treatment, and then going into it, I learned the effects of infusions take 72 hours to settle into your system, and 7 days before you really get the side effects, that begin that reactionary lifestyle.

Talked to a liaison who was there to comfort, very calming, nurses were awesome, Susan, Debbie, and Kiera, with Susan being my nurse we spent more time talking than with the others.  What an inspirational woman, she has the BRACA gene in her family, not her mother, or her, but her grandmother had it, and her sister has it.  The thing that caught me was she has five male members of her immediate family that carry the BRACA gene, and I was under the misconception that it was a woman thing.  One brother has it along with other health issues, and substance issues, but because has no children, he is not working to do anything to change what is fated.

I also spoke to someone else that has been going through her journey with chemo and cancer for 9 years, in her own private way of dealing with it.  It opened my eyes to how many people I know go through and are fighting without sharing, and I realize we are an elite group who can be so much of a support to one another. I strongly believe that God has placed people together to help them open up and share so others who, don’t know or understand, can be encouraged, and strengthened through each other, only if we are willing to reach out and share.  This is not a journey to walk alone, we are so much stronger when we walk together and when we life one another up, sharing does that, it is not to brag, or to invade, or to judge, it is to be a blessing to one another, to inform, and embrace each journey and make it easier to walk.  I think of how far she has come , and how she has been so blessed to live through so many wonderful things that would have been missed, children growing up and starting life journeys, and she was blessed to see that.  I thought my journey was over before it began, and now I am living with the hope of seeing my son, DeMontae,  who has started college, I want to see his dream come to reality, and I want to  do the things on my bucket list which I made when I was told there was no surgery and hope for me.  I want to see my Alex, as he fulfills his dreams and my Jadae and Jaya, finish school, find love and marriage.  Just talking to this wonderful lady, has given me new hope, and promise, but that would not have happened if God did bring us together on the same day.  I thank God for all my steps He is ordering as I learn and discover, and walk totally with Him removing all my fears, negatives, apprehensions, and anxieties from my life.  Knowing is wisdom and wisdom is prophecy-prophecy to others, this journey is a testimony worth sharing.  I would not think so if God did not choose me to walk this path, how important it is to open the lines of communication, the world is already too exclusive and secretive about such a powerful disease.  It is not for everyone, but think of all the one in eight people with breast cancer, who are not informed, and the one in seven who get pancreatic or other cancers and there odds, if we who walk the walk, share, more people will be willing to rush to seek help, treatment, and information.  Those who have no hope, who don’t know God, will most likely seek to know and they can be strengthened and find peace, rather than run from place to place trying to find answers in the wrong places.  Be a source of comfort to others, who are lost after this comes into their lives and their families.

I knew I was  going to share this on my blog.  Last night I could not sleep, so many thoughts racing about my first Chemo Class, all the wonderful, inspirational revelations God brought to me to learn more about this journey and through it all Ann Yonce, was so integral in all that inspired me.  We come to this concert with not everyone being in the same place, but most of us, I dare say, realize that these concerts are strictly guided by the connection that Ann has with our loving Lord and Savior who she allows to use her in prophecy(inspired teacher or revealer of the Divine Will, who tells future events), in wisdom(having intelligence and knowledge).  Ann has been chosen to provide prophecyinwisdom, to those who are lacking and seeking even when they do not know what it is they are seeking.  I know in my spirit there will be an overflowing crowd who are coming to the concert just as there have been in the past.  Not just CCFluvanna members, but because of the climate of our country, so many are confused and they do not want their Christmas to be filled with negative thoughts so they come seeking.  I said that as a prelude to you because those who come never know what will be presented, what music will be brought, and this concert has an opening that no many have ever heard of, and it was not easy to understand, but God was dealing with my spirit last night concerning “In the Bleak Midwinter”.  It is not Christmassy, it is heartfelt, deep, soulful, thought bending.

Think of those things that are “bleak”(cold and cheerless, originally pale, exposed). My mind went back to the widow with the last bit of oil to feed her two sons and herself, and then came a stranger who asked her to make him something to eat…her bleakest time.  I thought of those pilgrims and travelers of the 1700 and 1800 and early settlers of the 1900’s who to endured the harshest times to just make a home and a life, what could be more bleak, with the storms, snow on snow, poor as they were, then I thought of more modern time with my Momma and how she struggled to feed 5 children on welfare once a month and because of the times, sometime there was no check in the mail after waiting a month, after charging food and supplies everywhere that allowed her, after begging for rides that she owed for gas, after going to neighbors who had large families of their own to beg for something they could spare to keep us from going without, sometime without phone service, sometimes without electric, and wood and sometime heat was in short supply, talk about bleak times, and as I thought more about these last winters where many people had snow covering there doors and windows, and they were trapped indoors. 
Bleak Winters come in forms of health issues as well, and there are many in our group, who have had and are in bleak winters of health, what will we give him? Our poor spirits, our prideful souls, our secrets, our broken hopes, and homes, our will to let Him take all that is not like Him and one thing at a time give ourselves to His purpose. I was reminded that the more we let go of ourselves, our own will, our pride, shame, privacy, the more we forget what we think about how others see and judge us and our lives, and focus on the one who can change, wonderfully change our inner being, we will not be so concerned about what or how others think or see, or judge us.  Denny said something to me that really hit with a thud, “we become the person(s) who all those around us growing and forming, and through all our lives, we become who they say or convince us we are”, that is the gist if not verbatim, but that is what I understood, and I realized that is what has formed me, and deformed me, in spite of all I have tried to do to overcome those demons, they pop up, and as I keep growing in the Lord, I feel I am overcoming so much, but a whole lifetime of negative takes a miracle to overcome in the few short years I have been knowledgeable of changes I need to make, pray for me
So as we sink into the Bleak Midwinter, remember, we are all dealing with bleakness when we don’t fully focus on God, sing it like you know you want to overcome the harshness that stains your life and your walk with God.
Dear Father, we pray Julie and Jason, and her mother in law and the family, husband, baby, and everyone touched by this recent development of bleakness in their lives.  We trust that you will use this time to draw them closer to you and together, that you will hold them and strengthen them individually and collectively, and there is a healing for the family.  God we know that you are there in this family, and you can heal and you can deliver, this is just a touch of the garment moment for you, and so we ask for your healing touch today, for traveling mercies as Julie joins the family in Florida, and for mercy, grace, peace, deliverance, In Jesus’ Precious Healing Name, Amen.
Thank you Ann, for allowing God to continually use you, even when you are overwhelmed, and loaded down, He knows your strength, and I pray He will sustain and bless you with more than enough to get you through your testimonials and tasks.  Amen.
We walk by Faith, Not By Sight.
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