Friday was so much like when I started school as a young girl. I woke up anxious, and excited, and nervous about my day. Whenever I begin a new phase in life, I get that way, but now, minus the upset stomach and vomiting from my earlier years of “new beginnings”. I couldn’t wait to get on with the day. Knowing that I had mixed feelings that were weighing on me, not all of them positive, or happy. I was filled with tears, and some of them escaped my iron exterior, and then a wonderful thing happened, quite unexpected., as Alex and I arrived for the ECHO, *(echocardiogram), everything went very quickly, and we proceeded to the next appointment in Radiology. We were really early. The check in time was 11:30am, and we were there by 9:40am. We sat there for around 10 minutes, and my Alex, just made the time fly by with his humorous banter, and his wonderful calming conversation, he made me laugh, and I looked around, some of the other people were laughing as well. Then my name was called, and Alex had the mood so light and the atmosphere, so calming, it seemed that everyone was sending me good wishes as I went back for my prep. I was back in my area, for 5 hours, before the surgical procedure at 2:20pm, but the whole day was peaceful, and there was no stress, or frustration, within me. I felt like time just flowed, as I read my word, worked my word search puzzle and even took a nap. God had taken all my first day jitters away.
I looked at it as registration and orientation, and the day I got my materials for class that was starting on Monday. I was actually excited. I had my IV, and my lavender purple gown, had a heating element. I could turn up the heat to whatever made me comfortable. It was heaven! Finally Dr. Booth came in and we discussed the port, and how it would be placed, how it would work, and he just allowed me to ask all the questions, and so calmly, just explained every detail. What a blessing. The x ray tech came in and what a joyful attitude, he and the nurse, all three of them were so comforting.
As we went back into the surgical room, there was “ole school” music, the kind I like, and then the nurse, the tech, and the PA, were so in tuned to me, they included me in their conversations, their prep procedures, their consideration for how I was feeling. There was some discomfort during the procedure, but there was twilight anesthesia so some parts of the 2 hour procedure are hazy, but that is fine.
When we got back to my suite, the pain in my port area, was to me around 12. I recovered there for thirty minutes, and then they wheeled me to the front door, where Alex was right there with the car door opened, waiting to carry me home. The pain was excrutiating. I could not sleep, Medication did not ease the pain in my neck and chest, and there was no relief until 6am this morning, Sunday, Nov. 11th. Thank you Lord. I can bear the pain now.
Tomorrow, is Monday, Nov. 12th, my first day of Chemo School. I am not feeling that same dread, I am calm in my spirit, and I know, God’s Got This. I would not have to go on this path unless He was taking me, and walking with me, and He will deliver me. I am almost excited because I know this journey is more about what God has coming in my future, than it is about today, tomorrow. Be With Me Jesus, while I walk this lonesome road, help me bear my heavy load; I want to be right, I want to be saved, I want to be whole. So as you pray for me I will continue to pray for you, for those who need love, peace, caring souls around them, deliverance, healing, for God’s Holy Spirit to come in and change situations, for so many who don’t know what to pray for, and don’t know how to pray, Lord place a word in their heart, and spirit, and let it meditate within. In Jesus’ Holy Name, Amen.
It was a year ago that my brother Clarence went home to be with the Lord, and that means I have one more cheerleader on my team, and it is filled with so many of my favorite people, I feel their love, warm and sweet arms of love and comfort, all around me. I just want to add that my good friend from high school lost her mother the day after my Clarence, she had Altzheimers, and despite her personal grief, my friend, Mary Helen, came to be with me last year, and came to my brother’s service, while suffering her own grief. I have a lot of wonderful people in my life like that, and until all these back to back bricks were thrown at my home, I did not realize how God was protecting me, and holding me up, and loving me, so now as I go through, I bathe in the knowledge of living life through God’s love and all the wonderful ways He demonstrates that love through the people He continues to send my way. Lord Let Me Be An Instrument, A Reflection of Thy Love, and Let Me Be The Best I Can, With Inspiration, From Above. This is my Daily Prayer.