Give Me Wisdom

Prov. 8:12-14     12.  I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find, knowledge and discretion.   13.  The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverted mouth, I hate.  14.  counsel is mine and sound wisdom, I am understanding, power is mine.

Today, I thought of the military mantra; “The only hard day, was yesterday”, as I listened intently to instructions of how my life will proceed for the next few weeks.  This year started off, as one walking in wilderness, though the path was a quarter of a mile due west to the clearing, by way of the creek, at the corner of the broken tree stump.

I made it through the first stage of my new life as I was chosen to be “one in eight”.  My doctor told me as this journey began, that  one in eight people develop breast cancer without the obvious causes, or family history, so I became the “one in eight”, (I am in the process of writing a book addressing my journey).  After eight months between diagnosis and current healing, I learned that I am now a winner of the chemo treatment lottery.  I felt so blessed and amazed at how smoothly it all was, all the horrors I heard about, all the fears of what it would be like to have such a traumatic illness, I was determined I would not allow this to break me, to make me crumble, so I held it together.  God had it, and He led me through without pain, without it tearing me down.

When the doctors began talking about HER2 positive factors, which means a possibility of reoccurrence somewhere else sometime in the future, which means chemo to fight off what could, what will eventually be my future, I clinched my jaw, and through so much prayer, I  believed this would not happen.

Today, I sat in the Oncologists exam room making plans for the next year of my life, with chemotherapy guiding me through the wilderness I spoke of earlier.  In the last two weeks since they introduced this treatment to me, I must admit, I have felt like crying.  I have not allowed myself to go there since February when this all started.  I have really wanted my Momma, more and more, to be here to just to talk about this with her.  She always listened, and always had something to say that made me feel comforted, but she passed away just as I was learning about this diagnosis, so she never knew this was coming.

I have already put it in God’s hands, for He will lead me through  not as one walking in wilderness, though the path was a quarter of a mile due west to the clearing, by way of the creek, at the corner of the broken tree stump.  I, will walk with wisdom, as I dwell with prudence (careful discretion),  I will find, knowledge of how to move forward through this phase,  with God’s help.

Now comes the real battle, as we all know the game after halftime is the more critical and  crucial than the first half, and as they outlined what is to come, I know this battle is not mine, IT is the Lord’s.  In This, my God, I will trust in you as we go through the fire, I pray that the flood will not overwhelm and the oceans that rise will not pull me down.

Dear Lord, I ask for your continued healing, strength, peace, and deliverance as you guide me and the team through this new phase of life.  I know Lord, you are working this for your good, and I am blessed by your love, mercy, and grace.  Father, be with those who are on this same path, and wrap them in your wisdom, love, and understanding, that this is not from you, but you are the guiding light that will bring deliverance as we trust in you to work the work that must be done.  Let those who are discouraged, who are suffering, who are weakened by this, turn it all over and place it “In The Master’s Hand”, for everything is victorious in you.  In Jesus’ Name.  Amen.

So, for me, moving forward…”the only hard day, was yesterday”!!!

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